Yeah, this is my second post today. I never promised you a single post a day, did I? I make the rules around here...
Today is going to suck. My wife is on a two day business trip for her Big Important Job. I should point out that her traveling had nothing to do with the affair and The Assface does not travel with her. The Assface is a co-worker, but not really a peer, so it's not like they were on business trips together. (Plenty more on The Assface in the days to come. My dream is to end this blog with one final post of two words - his name. I'm gonna need a much larger readership - like someone other than me - to really make that worth it, though. But it's coming Assface. It's coming.)
But anyway. She's gone for two days and maybe the worst thing about all of this is the isolation. Like I mentioned previously, you don't tell all of your friends what's going on, so essentially you are alone in dealing with it. I work from home, so the isolation feels even more acute on a daily basis and when she's gone overnight, it blows because that's when the imagination starts to really run wild. All the insecurities and questions present themselves like strobe lights, flashing over and over in my head.
To my knowledge, the affair is over. We've had some pretty frank discussions, she's provided me with some facts and we're in counseling. Yes, she has to see him on a regular basis at work, but it's not like it was beforehand. (Remind me of this post if I find out down the road that I've been bamboozled. Hey - remember that Friends episode where Joey was going to host a game show called Bamboozled? "Let's play Bamboozled!!!" That was a good one.) So the insecurities aren't entirely tied to me worrying about her communicating with him while she's gone - though, in part, if I'm being honest, they probably are. It's more that she's just not here and there's so much distance between us right now and her being gone magnifies the distance.
I still love her. This isn't fun, but I still love her. I think she loves me.
This will be a tough day/night.
I hope Friends is on tonight. That would be cool and might make it a fraction easier.
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Leave her and your relationship will be better.
ReplyDeleteShe will have more respect for you and it will give your relationship boundries. Spend the first two weeks in Hawaii on a trip that you will secretly plan prior to telling her that you are leaving. After you tell her that you are leaving her for a while to think about what has happened, don't tell her where you are going just turn off your cell phone and go. When you return get a night job so that you can watch you child during the day and afford your own apartment. In case you don't know this women are not like men, by nature they will lose respect for you if they are the bread winner. It is not good for you if she is acting okay right now out of guilt. You need her to admire you for your strenth and desire sex with you only. She should fear losing you enough never to cheat on you. PS Maui is very nice this time of year, I was married there and it is nice. Please go upcountry and visit the local winery. Be careful tho, you are a nice guy, woman love a single traveling man. That said be faithful to her because you are still married. Don't play in the dirt because she did.