Yeah, this is my second post today. I never promised you a single post a day, did I? I make the rules around here...
Today is going to suck. My wife is on a two day business trip for her Big Important Job. I should point out that her traveling had nothing to do with the affair and The Assface does not travel with her. The Assface is a co-worker, but not really a peer, so it's not like they were on business trips together. (Plenty more on The Assface in the days to come. My dream is to end this blog with one final post of two words - his name. I'm gonna need a much larger readership - like someone other than me - to really make that worth it, though. But it's coming Assface. It's coming.)
But anyway. She's gone for two days and maybe the worst thing about all of this is the isolation. Like I mentioned previously, you don't tell all of your friends what's going on, so essentially you are alone in dealing with it. I work from home, so the isolation feels even more acute on a daily basis and when she's gone overnight, it blows because that's when the imagination starts to really run wild. All the insecurities and questions present themselves like strobe lights, flashing over and over in my head.
To my knowledge, the affair is over. We've had some pretty frank discussions, she's provided me with some facts and we're in counseling. Yes, she has to see him on a regular basis at work, but it's not like it was beforehand. (Remind me of this post if I find out down the road that I've been bamboozled. Hey - remember that Friends episode where Joey was going to host a game show called Bamboozled? "Let's play Bamboozled!!!" That was a good one.) So the insecurities aren't entirely tied to me worrying about her communicating with him while she's gone - though, in part, if I'm being honest, they probably are. It's more that she's just not here and there's so much distance between us right now and her being gone magnifies the distance.
I still love her. This isn't fun, but I still love her. I think she loves me.
This will be a tough day/night.
I hope Friends is on tonight. That would be cool and might make it a fraction easier.